AUTODECEPTITRON

This whole conservative Christian concept of modesty along with sexual purity is one of the primary reasons why I have anti-theistic leanings, because it nearly drove me to suicide. From my late teenage years to my early 20s, I was afflicted with this unimaginable guilt because I was trying to remain pure but failing, and feeling like nowhere was safe for me to go because I’d be “setting wicked things before my eyes” if I saw girls “inappropriately dressed” which caused me to do a lot of self-isolating, as well as having visions of mutilating my own genitals. To this day, I still suffer from social awkwardness and anxiety around women my age. Worst of all, I tried to commit suicide at age 19, because I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I hated being at war with my own flesh. That’s no way for anyone to live, and I wouldn’t wish it upon my own worst enemy. Now, all I have is bitterness and resentment because of it. Anytime I talk about how much I hate Christianity

I graduated in the 2011-2012 semester, leaving school as a socially inept dweeb with Aspergers, and now, 10 years later and nearly 28 years old… nothing has changed. I’ve never been on a date, because if I try to by nice women will be like “Oh, get away from me, you creep!” It makes me so fucking angry. Women are a impossible to please. Hell, even women that I don’t find physically attractive are still creeped out by me. What kind of bullshit is this!? Oh, and to make matters worse, I literally live in my parents basement; I shit you not, that’s actually where I live. Not saying that I don't have a job, or anything. In fact, I do have a job, although it isn't really helping much in my life as it's so stressful. If I try and talk to my parents about it, they’ll be like, “Oh, you’re just being too negative,” or that kind of bullshit. I’m so tired of it all, I don’t want to commit suicide, or anything like that, but it’s tough. And also, I’m not saying I’m an incel either, I’m

"The word 'but' means: forget everything I just said, I'm now going to tell you what I really mean." —Dr. Phil